WE ARE NOT ALONE

"Those are the same stars, and that is the same moon that look down upon your brothers and sisters, and which they see as they look up to them, though they are ever so far away ...

~Sojourner Truth

A few years ago, one winter morning, I found myself awake at 3:00 a.m. A sensation that I have known before and many of us dread, “Oh no, I’m too awake and not going back to sleep,”  washed over me. I had hoped to feel the ease of drifting back to sleep, with the knowing that it was not quite time to leave the warmth of my bed. My hope for a good night’s sleep, especially as I was still healing a cold, was replaced with frustration with being sick and feeling alone. My nagging cough grew louder, echoing my unspoken cries of the unknown territory I was in during a very difficult time of transition.  

Being consumed with my fears, I longed for the comfort of my mother, who had passed away over seven years before, and called out to her in my vulnerability to come and help me somehow.  I found myself reaching for my iPad, hoping to find some distraction or solace. I tried to open a news site, unclear why reading disturbing news in the middle of the night would be a comfort. As I attempted to load the page unsuccessfully many times, I pivoted to my email, out of frustration that nothing seemed to be working in my life.  To my surprise, there was an email from a friend, written only fifteen minutes before, with the message, “ Check out this video on YouTube… Can't sleep ...Just thought of you xo.”  I felt that my mother had orchestrated this connection and felt a calm from from my friend’s simple message of “just thought of you.” 

The video spoke to a seemingly simple yet profound truth: We have the power to quiet our disempowering thoughts, to allow them to rest, rather than allowing them to spiral into the monsters underneath the bed that creeping anxiety creates in the dark. We have the power to choose to focus on something that we know to be true, that eases our mind, if only enough to allow us to fall back to sleep. 

Though this practice can be challenging, especially when our fears seem larger than life, at that moment, I felt a sense of grace and some kind of magic that allowed me to shift, just enough. I knew that I was not alone and things would be okay ~that felt like a clear message from my mom and from my dear friend through her six simple words, “Can’t sleep …Just thought of you.” Knowing my friend couldn’t sleep as well and was awake, was thinking of me, and felt inspired to send me an encouraging video was the connection I needed.  

The connection that was serendipitously formed that night between me, my mom, and my friend ~ brief, yet powerful ~ has stayed with me. And that simple truth ~ that we are never truly alone and we are all interconnected ~ did not eliminate all of my fears and worries, but was enough to guide me back into the peace of sleep.  So, follow that urge in the middle of the night or any time of the day, to write, text, or call a friend when you are just thinking of them and let them know. It may matter more than you know.